SEVEN TYPES OF PEOPLE YOU MEET ON WHATSAPP

Dipole

Kkk.. These ones are the annoying set of people whose reply to whatever you type no matter how long is kkk. C’mon!!! Call it lack of creativity or being boring with a big B, I can imagine them replying KKK when someone proposes to them. Anyways sha, they dare not do that to me, because I will just type LLL, MMM and walk away. I wonder if we are trying to recite the English alphabets.

The DP stealers: they don’t chat with people usually but spend a long time online checking people’s display picture, looking for that attractive DP they can also use. The extremely hardworking ones among them even go to the extent of stealing both the DP and the status… For these ones, I say, remember the Judgment day.

The stalkers: these are the people you have been trying to avoid and you have used every trick in the book to evade them and yet it seems they have this special app that indicates when you come online, seconds after you are online, you end up getting comprehension passages from them. I’ll advice these ones to GO GET A LIFE!!

The Needy: These are the people that you don’t really talk to and then you suddenly get a message from them asking when they can come for a certain material they heard you have or whether you can assist them in paying their school fees because they misplaced their money. Seriously!!! Who does that?

The status kings and Queens: They have a status for each passing second. They have converted status updates into a do or die competition and some even end the day with.”phew! What a long day. I have changed my status more times than the years metuselah lived”. in addition, some of them can lie ehnn, Imagine one of my guys putting his status as, “chillin’ with ma guys in Germany”, when he hasn’t even being to nearby Benin republic.

The Android Users: these ones try to economize everything including their Mb. When you send a message to then, it takes days before the message delivers and this is because their mobile data is off, and when they receive this message, they quickly reply and switch off their data again.

Chatting wizards: these ones are very skilled in chatting and could spend hours chatting. If chatting were to be a course in medical school, these ones are sure to get a distinction. When we talk about wooing a lady online, discussing deep stuffs, making small talks and cracking jokes.. These guys are specialists; for blessed is the “chattee” that chats with them for they will never enjoy a moment of boredom online. Trust me now, I belong to this category…

16 SIGNS TO KNOW YOU HAVE AN AFRICAN MUM

DANTOIDES

1. When she asks you if the food she served you is enough, and you reply, “no” and she says, “come and eat my own with yours”.

DATING YOUR EX’s FRIEND

 

P.E.O

Touchy topic this is. Let’s define some terms first.

Dating: higher grade of friendship with romantic attachments, with or without a definite future.

Ex: someone, male or female, who one was dating previously but such relationship has suffered a transient or permanent truncation.

A LESSON I LEARNT FROM LABOUR WARD

Emmanuella (GUEST WRITER)
The day began as every other normal day. I woke up, checked the time on my phone it was past 6 in the morning and I wondered why I had slept for almost 12 hours and still felt sleepy. The previous day was a very hectic one but little did I know what the present day had in store. I said my prayers, read my Bible and off I was to school. Like every medical student, I silently prayed for a fruitful day and by fruitful,I mean plenty signatures in my booklets. No matter how much one learns in school, if you don’t have that proof of your

WHILE THE GIRLS TRIPPED, THE BOYS DIDN’T

I lay in my bed that afternoon pretty much jobless waiting as time slowly crawled by. The resident doctors’ strike was the reason for my unfortunate state. Going to school was pretty much optional as the wards were empty and the clinics scanty. I had my books beside me but somehow the zeal to read wasn’t just there. If not for the

UGWU INFUSED PINA COLADA

The Zed

This is for all the Pina Colada fans in the house and of course team fitfam.

6-0… 7-0… NOW, I WANT A WIFE!

P.E.O

Like I have not tried?!? I have friends who played 4-4 and have now graduated with a new ‘goal’ not part of the ‘4’ as wife and have their own family. Let me even assume those ones were just being Okocha-ish with their relationships… score here and there. What of those who caught one young damsel in their 200l and have held on tight till now? What of those everyone had termed celibates who are now going round, WITH THEIR WIVES, giving marriage seminars? Here I am and all I have to show is my dear MBBS certificate that does not know how to say “I love you”.

QUIZ

You are driving a bus. Six people get on, two people get off, then ten people get on and five people get off, then eight people get on and four more people get off. What colour were the bus driver’s eyes?

QUIZ

A peacock laid an egg on the top of a hill. One side of the hill is rocky, the other side is smooth. which way would the egg roll safely to the ground?